Every day it�s a slow building rage. I begin slowly, reminding myself like a mantra, the world is not out to get me the world is not out to get me. But then assumptions get made (oh, Molu won�t mind doing this, give it to her) or someone cuts in front of me and I almost fall or someone takes too long to explain something simple because he apparently loves the sound of his own FUCKING voice and the rage intensifies so much that I must consciously will myself not to pummel the first obstacle in my path, be it human or no.

I signed up for this workload. I did it. But then every day I can�t stop myself from wanting to scream. I am not here for your amusement or your tasks that you don�t want or your convenience or your neediness, world! I am not! Too much! Too too much!

I have no one to fall back on, I have no help getting through the day and therefore I find myself resenting the entire world by noon. It�s untenable. I do not want to feel sorry for myself. I do not want to grind my teeth to nothing. I do not want to be on the brink of violence every moment of every day. It�s a puzzle, but there are too many pieces.

If you ever have something you need from someone else, ask in advance. Ask. Don't assume. Don't assume that the need is small. Damn.

Fuck. Must finish planning class, set up tasks for the work students. Be still my beating heart.