God, I hate couples. Couples ruin everything. Case in point: the camping trip. The Deen wants to bring Complaint. Which would be fine, actually, because we were all sort of friends with her before she and the Deen ever coupled. And sometimes she�s better than the Deen (sometimes she just talks way too much�but whatever, I say. Maybe she�ll keep him occupied so the rest of us can have some good clean fun). Then J-bird jumps on board the couple train and states that if the Deen is bringing Complaint than he is bringing Annetta. I like her quite a bit, but man. What. A. Drag. And then sfitz pipes up that he wants to bring his lady friend and so next, I�m sure, Blythe will be bringing her man and then�Molu stands alone. Sigh.

I decided I�m not going to go if it�s going to be couples camping. I don�t do couples anything. Blah on couples. Couples are boring and self-involved and only relate well to other boring self-involved couples. I never want to be part of such a creature. Ick.

So yeah. I�m sad. This was the one thing I had to look forward to. Now I have nothing. Which means�wait, let me check my watch�yep. Time for another pity party. I throw the best pity parties. Anyone reading this is invited to participate. First I�m going to smoke cigarettes and stare at the crack in the cement outside. Then I�m going to berate myself. But very quietly so no one notices. Then I�m going to hold back the crocodile tears. That will be hard and will therefore make me feel even more sorry for myself because I'm not even allowed to cry. Then I�m going to listen to Lucinda (oh Lucinda) Williams and Mark Eitzel and other assorted auteurs of heartbreak. Later I�m going to drink alone.

I�m open to other pitiful activities if you�ve got suggestions, my friends.