And another thing: I don't care anymore about keeping up with people. Like, even folks I don't (and didn't) particularly love, I felt like I had an obligation to maintain the friendship. Fuck that. I am hereby and officially now letting go of all friendships formed in college. (Except for Blythe.) That means Sue. And Jess. And J-bird. And sfitz. And Adam. Goodbye to them. I'm done with them. They really do actually suck and are not good. I mean, Jess is good. But why do I need to be friends with her? We don't actually have anything in common nor do we share any parts of our lives. I love her, but I got nothing to say and neither does she. So the end. I'm DONE.

It's the new me, the cutter looser me. I love this new me. I love cutting myself loose of years' worth of guilt for not being a better friend, for not being whatever I should have been ten years ago, for not being hip or cool enough for them now. And you know--J-bird and sfitz are pretty fucking insulting. I know I went on and on about how I wanted some mud-slinging friends around me, but I don't want to be around the mud they got to sling my way any more. They know piss about me. I actually really hate them, hate who they see when they look at me, hate their horrible lives, hate their critiques of my clothes and my hair and my accent and the way I live my life (the way they think I live my life) and no, J-bird, it does not make it all better when you say that I'm your favorite person of all time. And no sfitz I do not forgive the mean and nasty and not even funny hick jokes and pathetic hermit jokes and drunk jokes and friendless jokes and overrun by cats jokes and depressed jokes, not even when you say that I have stayed more true to myself than anyone you know. Fact is, I don't want to be friends with anyone who actually has to consider whether or not he has stayed true to himself. That's fucking stupid. Just do it. Tell the truth, live your life, don't be such a GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING PUSSY about the whole thing. I don't care about selling out. I don't care about the bourgeoisie. I don't care about any of these things that come out of your fucking mouths. And I am tired of the way you both dismiss me. Dismiss my life. As if you already know all there is to know. Not my friends. You, J-bird and sfitz, you have just been cut from the team.

That is all for now. I'm sure I have about a million times 10 other things to say about this but baby it's break time.