Last night, turning in, I saw the light on in the back room. I was outside (slept in the tent) and from there I could see the silhouette of Miss Blue in the door. I went over and she made the most mournful sad sounds I�ve ever heard. I couldn�t pet her because the door was latched from the inside and I couldn�t go inside because I had been crying and didn�t want anyone to know and so we looked at each other and she rubbed against the screen and I rubbed my hand against the screen. I wished I could make that sound, low and mournful and so clearly saying, I want to go home.

I hated that I walked away then. I wished I could stay sitting with her all night long. Instead I went inside the tent with old Bash and I just howled for a while. I�m feeling a bit like Marcy, the girl who disappears. I can feel the tips of my fingers and my hair and my toes just disintegrating. I�m freezing too. On the inside, I�m just ice.

I don�t really have anything else to say, I guess. I�m going to go do my work and I�m going to be quiet and I�m not going to consider all the things I�m missing right now because if I do that tide may just drown me out completely.