Been fucking around online for the past hour and, as there is absolutely nothing of any real interest anywhere, I decided mayhaps I�ll write a diary entry.

I�m so tired of myself, though.

Plus I still get mad sometimes when I come here and think of certain irredeemable facts, certain intimacies I wish I could simply cut out, certain poisons in the air.

I mean, there is something to be said for staying the course, I�m almost sure, for seeing what happens when you keep moving forward, keeping accruing months and times and people onto one place. But dude, people, friends, I�m so tired of myself, this self here. I'm tired of the colors, tired of the way I write, tired of my notes and my guestbook and my chinese button knot. Ugh.

I have, however, very excellent and happy plans that will help get me through these intolerable winter months. I hate cold. I hate the cold and I hate being cold and I hate all the things I can�t do because it�s cold. Like be in the kitchen, which is a very very very cold place in our house. We make bets and have contests over whose turn it is to make supper or do the dishes or feed the dogs. Usually I win and Jeff mopes and mopes and tries to get me to feel very sorry for him. I say, girl please and make him do it still.

I was cranky this weekend. I just wanted to watch movies and do my designs on the computer for various things and nothing else. No human interactions, please. Unfortunately when you actually live with another human being as I have not done lo these many years, you cannot get around the human interaction thing as easily as you are accustomed. Also, if you live with Jeff, you can't even stay cranky when you want. It�s just impossible. He starts dancing and I dare anyone in the whole world watching Jeff dance not to giggle. Impossible! So the cranky misanthropy was totally totally ruined.

Ruined!

Jeff works about a hundred hours a week now, also. He worked all weekend. And it was so cold.

I�ve got a heater headache now and don�t want the computer anymore. Bye.