I really don't have time to write today. Truly. The once a year statistics are due at the end of the day and, darlings, I cannot account for my time in any way that would suggest that actual work was done over the past 365 days. Dang. Somehow I seem to believe that if I just put my nose to the grindstone all day today I will be able to cover my very exposed hide, but really, we all know it's impossible. That's all right. Because yesterday Gaylor told Paul who is my boss that I am the best most favorite employee in the whole department and that I work miracles. Which is patently ridiculous, but the timing was good. Maybe it's getting me a little street cred, y'all. I could use it.

Jeff thinks that I have a brown recluse spider bite and that if I don't go to the emergency room or at the very least urgent care my leg will become all gangrenous and will have to be chopped off. He said he'd still be my friend if that happens and that he will call me stumpy. So I say, what have I got to lose?

But really. I don't think it's anything to worry about. I snooped around and read up on this and even if it is a brown recluse spider bite (unlikely), it's rare that these bites become necrotic or whatever. I ain't worried and I don't go to doctors because mostly I think the body knows best what to do and going to doctors too much is the surest way to get the body to forget how to do its work.

That said, I am planning to go to the doctor pretty soon for an all around check up/physical type deal which I can't remember ever doing in my life. So I figure once every 30 years or so is about right for me. Truth is, I want a prescription for wellbutrin or zoloft because I know several folks who've kicked smoking this way. Hardcorp smokers. And friends, I ain't doing it on my own. Clearly. So if I still have the spider bite/gangrenous zone on my leg then, I'll ask the doctor about it. Otherwise? Fuck it.

Oh yeah, also, Americans are rilly rilly weird. I found myself behind a big honking SUV soccer mom with the following decals on the back of her mammothosity this morning.

I just. Uh. Well. No words. There are no words. Except jesus AND a blue devil?

Also, where have all the peace-loving christians gone? The radical jesus followers? Where's the love, you lovers of jesus?