I am the sluggiest slug if ever a slug were sluggish. Really. I did not finish grading last night. I would have known that there was no possibility of finishing grading if I had simply started the whole bloody process 24 hours sooner. But nooooo. I am deeply committed to my self-image as a procrastinator. And so, I found myself at 1 am, still not finished going through the objective portion of their exams, which was supposed to be the easy part to grade, the part that would take maybe an hour to do everyone's. I had not even glanced at their reading journals let alone their blinking essays. So I wisely packed it in. I did the reading, mostly, that I had assigned for today's class and then went to sleep. I set my alarm. 6 am. Plenty of time then to plan the day ahead. I did set it. I did. But setting is only half the battle. Did I even HEAR my alarm this morning? Yeah, you know the answer to that. I woke up at 8:30 am, unshowered totally and completely and inexcusably late for work. Oh, and also totally and completely and inexcusably unprepared for class. So I phoned in sick. It was the only conceivable way to save face, as far as I could tell this morning. I did go to class, though. And I planned the hell out of it, too. You would be so proud.

I should be using this time off to grade grade grade. I still plan for that to happen. Um.

I am lazy. I am not kidding about that. Not even a little bit. I tell people this at work and they refuse to believe me. They think I'm just giving myself a hard time. I never give myself a hard time. I am very very easy on myself.

I'm going to go do important nonlazy things right now. As we speak. Here I go. Buh bye.

P.S. And have I mailed Sue's package? The very important friendship saving package that is all ready to go but would mean I would have to leave the house again today when I'm feeling so very much like not ever leaving this house again ever ever ever? Sheesh. I have to go poke both my damned eyeballs out now. After that I'll grade. Promise.