I�m definitely coming down with something. I�m moving at about � speed. My eyes are about 10x too big for my sockets. My throat hurts. I warn you all, I am a lousy sick person. I whine even more than usual.

However, I offer this reprieve: I am in a surprisingly jovial mood. I forget why. Maybe there is no sense or reason to why. Maybe it�s because I�m delirious. It�s amazing how feeling sick is so very close to feeling like you�re on drugs. Maybe that�s why I�m in a good mood.

Reginald called me last night to chat and tell me he misses me and that he wants to play poker again soon. We have to wait until Bathsheba comes home, though. And Reginald�s wife, Barbara, will be joining the table. Ugh. Barbara wins the prize for the most boring, self-involved person I know, hands down. She talks about skin care a lot. And also about how selfless she is and how she never wants to be the center of attention. She often interrupts conversations to tell you she doesn�t want to be the center of attention. But Reginald is simply wonderful and smart and funny and kind as can be. After my thesis reading a million years ago I felt so crummy�I don�t know why. I just felt like I wanted to cry hysterically and then I wanted to kill myself. Reginald sat next to me and put his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder and he said �I know exactly what you mean.� I love him forever and always for that. Plus he is so great in every other possible way. Except for being married to Barbara. And also he loves NASCAR. Oh and he is a conservative Southern Baptist who is also a card-carrying member of the NRA. Who espouses creationism. Over evolution. But otherwise he is the grandest human being I have ever met. I would totally marry him. I even told him so. He said I�m next in line after Barbara.

You know, there was a big discussion here in the office earlier about eyesight and glasses and who has the worst vision, etc. I will state here and now that I have perfect 20/20 vision. But I�m beginning to find this fact perplexing. My parents both wear glasses and have done so since they were kids. They both have terrible eyesight. My brothers, with the exception of Shawn who is adopted, all wear glasses. All of my father�s siblings have poor eyesight. All of my mother�s siblings have poor eyesight. All of my grandparents had or have poor eyesight. Clearly the only possible explanation is that I am the chosen one. I have been singled out among my people for greatness. I�ll let you know when I�m called upon to save the Molu clan with my eagle eyes.

I just saw a toddling little kid and my fevered brain keeps sending me this message: I want one of those. now, Now, NOW. I need one.

I�m going home early. I�m feeling worse by the second. The worse I feel of body the better and sillier I feel of mind. Go figure. I am the most contrariwise person. I�m practically hallucinating at this point.