And so begins my life of hell, of stuff to do all the time, of disorganization and actual stress. Blech. I am just come from my very first class. It�s big. Lots and lots of lost little freshman who have no interest in reading anything and who are totally freaked out by the whole flying by the seat of our pants mentality of the class. I forget that they haven�t yet learned that teachers are also fuckups, that teachers don�t have all (or any) of the answers for them. I forget that I have to be the grownup here. I have about a million things I promised them I would do by the day�s end. I hope I hold up my end of the bargain. I am renowned for my laziness.

The campus is swarming. I wish I had some kind of pass to get me through the great masses and swells of PEOPLE, unscathed and in a timely fashion. Some kind of street festival thing is going on right in front of the library and, walking through it, I felt light-headed, close to fainting. It�s so hot. There was pizza and cotton candy and cell phones and talking talking talking and sweat and a horse (?) and it felt so very unreal. I�m glad to be back at my desk in the cool quiet. I don�t fancy going back out in it.

I don�t like the fall semester. I don�t like starting school in the hot summer time. I don�t like today at all. This week can�t pass quickly enough.

I will now attempt a better mood. Pardon me.