It�s so warm out today. I�m terribly sad to be at work today. I have class today. I have not prepared today. Today today today.

I�m sleepy. Frances came over last night and we drank beers and talked. Does it feel like spring out there to you? I am distracted. Basho, this morning, remembered that Frances went to bed in Miss Blue�s room and he leapt up as soon as he saw my eyes open, wagging wagging wagging that tail of his, just as excited as a dog can be. He�s crazy for Frances, my friends. There was this moment last night when he was standing on a chair and she was standing about three feet from him and he looked ready to LEAP into her�pure love, pure trust. That�s why dogs kill me.

Right. So. Class. I am giggling about how much I do not care. I have nine class sessions left with those chumps. That�s it. It�s a breeze.

Oh lies lies lies. Now, it�s two hours later than when I wrote the previous paragraph. Now my heart begins to race. Which is silly because I�m leaving work at noon and I�m not coming back again today and I will have plenty of time to get myself ready. Next week is spring break. No class. Then two months straight, no more breaks, and I�m done. Never again. Well. Maybe again this summer, but that�s another situation altogether. I am determined that this current class, these current students, shall not get under my skin again. I am determined to be breezy and determined to let frustrations and insults glide right over me.

The future suddenly feels different�not bleak. Frightening, but big and interesting and exciting. Like now mountains are in my path and I have to go over them and I know the journey will be hard and I sure don�t know what�s on the other side. I was facing the other way before, the flat way, the known and safe way. But I turned around and lo, there are mountains.

I�m a goober. No need to tell me that.

I am fighting a temptation to call him up and say, �come with me.� When I imagine that moment in my head he says, �what in our history makes you think that would work?� And then I will say, �nothing. Come with me.� And he will. That�s how that one ends.

Don�t know where I am today or yesterday or tomorrow. I�m afeared, but all right too. And baby it�s warm outside.