I'm a bit low this gloomy afternoon. The sun peeked out for a moment and thus I left my coat at home, but I need it now. Again.

Today's lesson: just because I'm right, doesn't mean he's wrong. Just because I'm wrong, doesn't mean he's right. And so on. It's all true, all untrue, on and on, my brain has stuck on contemplating the endless permutations of this riddle. I can't make it stop.

So many people talk and talk and I can't hear one voice in the crowd. It's maddening.

How can clarity just evaporate?

It's late Friday afternoon and the weekend is nearly upon me and I don't know what to do with myself. I have millions of things I ought to do and want done. I'd dearly love to start packing, to start getting rid of the great swells of papers and stuff that threaten to overcome me at any moment. But really, what I most want is some pause, some moment without myself because I am damned sick of always having to hang around with me you know? I want to spend the next 48 hours reading and doing nothing else. Not laundry, not class preparation, not work, not computering, not walking, not thinking, not worrying, not planning. I just want my head stuck in someone else's world for a bit and I want to not look up.

I'm working late again tonight. Every night this week, I've done the same. I'm coming in tomorrow and on Sunday too. I'm attempting to bolster my dwindling vacation time. I have big plans for the summer months. Ah hell. Sorry. I don't even find this subject interesting.

I do so wish that my hermitic phases might be a bit kinder on Bashi. The cats love them, but the pup, poor soul, needs to be out running in the bright sunshine and meeting up with friends and giving hugs and saying hey hey hey I like you hey.

I would like to have a workshop with a radio and maybe a TV so I can watch movies and in my workshop I would like to make things. I would like to make my own paper and for my own books and I would like to make interesting boxes of wood or stiff book boards. I like boxes. I like hiding things in boxes with close fitted lids. There are, no doubt, other things to make but I can't think of them just yet except to say that I would like to make them too.

I would like to go home now and he would be there and we would be good and kind to one another and we would be quiet too. Next week. Ah, yes, ok.