The clouds are fogging everything up in my head. I made myself some super duper spicy ramen soup as a means of making a hole for the clear night sky to get in. Some days, when I don't talk to a single friend (which, considering I can count all my friends on one hand and have plenty of digits left over to do math or tell time or eat soup with, that's most days. Mind you, I'm not complaining. I made my own world over here and I mostly I like it this way. I'm no good with people. No good a-tall) and my back aches and I don't go on my walk because I see Mr. William's down there and I'm feeling far too people-shy to walk past him, I get lost in the fog.

I said hey to Brandon on my way to the truck. He had a wee pup on a leash and looked like he didn't know how the hell he'd got there. Turns out one of the workshop teachers had brought her new pup in to class but the pup wasn't interested in school so Brandon had to take him out. What a weird job that fella has. But I got to rub on the puppy ears and the puppy fur, which is so new and soft. Excellent stuff.

I just need some of this free-floating anguish to go away. There's no working through it, no figuring it out, no cure except time, I guess. Time. Ah yes. That. You.

Phew. I just sucked down that soup and my head feels ten times better. Ain't nothin better than cayenne pepper for a headache, friends.

It's a strange floating feeling now, like I'm not quite real anymore. I've been feeling that for a while, like a ghost or a simulacrum. Not all the time, but enough. Not when I go down into the woods, not when Bash wags his tail at me, not when Jeff calls me up on the telephone. But at work, walking the streets around work, on Sunday morning when everyone's at church across the street. I am the specter haunting these strange woods.

I have to find a way to play some music in here. Jeff took the cd player with him in the truck. I need to hear some Steve Earle. That man always feels like company. I listened to Guitartown on the way home today, over and over. I felt happy then. I'm on pause now. Waiting on the next adventure. It's a-coming, just over yonder.