Just had a little office birthday bash for sir Edward the star wars geek. He�s a funny man, that one--more kid than grown-up. I made him a card with a little unicorn and he just loved it. He loves unicorns and fairy things. He asked what book jacket the unicorn came from and when I told him it was from a book called Why don�t they like me? he laughed a bit and said, I can relate. Poor dear. Me too. I have great love for all the bullied kids of the world. I think we�re ever so much more interesting than the normal folk. That's what we all tell ourselves at any rate. Don't bust my bubble.

In reverse chronological order here�s what I�ve done for all the Thanksgivings past:

This year: up to Jeff�s folks. We had to get up at 3:30 in the morning to arrive in time for the noon meal�plus we had to shower when we got there because the water was out at home (Jeff got a new pump for the well yesterday so we are waterful again, yay) plus the dogs plus the introductions to new people plus plus plus. But it was good. There were 10 of us around the table and only me and Anthony (Christy�s (Jeff�s sister) husband) didn�t sign and only me, Jeff, Christy, and Anthony were hearing. I was exhausted so I mostly smiled and nodded and plowed through plates and plates of food. Jeff and I talked about how differently conversations flow in Deaf culture�how folks tell stories and how performative it is. Nobody listens that way in my family--we all talk over one another and interrupt each other's stories constantly. In other 2003 Thanksgiving news: the food was super. Best pecan pie I ever had in my life.

Last year: Brittania came to me along with her pal Justin. Remember? We were drunk the entire time and it just the most delightfully excellent holiday.

In the year before last: I think this must have been the year I went with Bathsheba to her superb sister�s house for the Buffy marathon and the nonstop good fun with all her nieces. I loved it. That was probably one of the best Thanksgivings of my entire existence. Bathsheba has the most kickass family you will ever hear about. I learned to crochet and made excellent friends and drank tons of wine and smoked cigarettes and looked at books and talked and talked and talked. Fantastique!

In the year before that: Hmm. I think I didn�t do anything. Or did I go home? I lived in Pittsboro that year and can�t for the life of me remember doing anything.

Before before before (1999?): I think I was with Frances and Jeff this year. Frances invited me to their old house out on William Dairy's Road. It was lovely--Frances�s mama was so nice and Frances played Dolly Parton on the radio and we walked around to the pond across the street. Frances�s brother Mark skipped rocks along the pond�s surface. I was shy with everybody because I liked them so much but didn't know anyone too well because this was just a few months after I started working with Frances in that horrible place, ORS. I remember how glad I was to go and how glad I was that she'd asked me.

1998. Blank. Undoubtedly, I did nothing.

1996 & 1997. The Tallahassee years. I went home both times. I went home many weekends back then, at least if I had a car I did. I was so lonesome. (Brittania notwithstanding).

1995. I must have stayed at the 47th St. apartment in Washington D.C. and smoked a ton of dope and watched movies and drank hot chocolate since that is what I did every time I was left on my own when I lived there.

1994. Ah, the Chesapeake St. house in DC. Roommate Anne (now married to first serious boyfriend Loren Bookman (see 1992)) and I made a nearly inedible vegan meal for her obnoxious punk rock straight edge vegan friends and I got smashed and they all judged me and I laughed.

1993. Me pal Paul and I stayed in the dorm and bought a big Thanksgiving meal in a bag. We cooked that shit up for all manner of weird strays. There was this girl named Sin who stayed in my dorm room with me that night. She was still in high school and her parents wouldn�t let her eat with them in her gothwear so she came to us and she was so thankful that she gave me a bracelet. Paul was good at mothering such creatures.

1992. I went to Loren Bookman�s house in Potomac, Maryland. I remember the food was really really good. I had to pretend I wasn�t Loren�s girlfriend on account of my not-Jewishness which was a weird way to meet one's boyfriend�s parents, but also pretty ok--no pressure. And they were nice. Loren had a ham radio set up in the basement and he showed me some of his favorite frequencies. He had a map of the world with pins stuck to every place he�d made radio contact. Many pins. One time when I was back home in Florida Loren made contact with a man near DeLand and he had that man call me up on the telephone to tell me Loren loved me.

1974-1991. I have no distinct memories of Thanksgiving. Just a blur of relatives and wanting to be alone and leaving the table very quickly to get some peace and quiet which was always in short supply amongst my people. A holiday surrounded by even more people than one encountered in your average day didn�t seem like much of a holiday to me. I like it better now. I never want to do the same thing every year, though. I like for this to be the anti-tradition holiday.

I have this horrible huge overwhelming holiday lunch for the entire library staff to plan and I dread the planning of this to such an extent that I do nothing and that�s getting to be a problem. What if I kept doing nothing and then ruined the holiday lunch for the entire library staff? I'm serious. What would happen? Has such a thing ever happened before in the history of the library social committee?

CZ, one of my favorites here in the catalog department, tells me she heard we might be getting some nasty weather this weekend which is the exact same weekend we got the first of the terrible ice storms last year. She lost power and heat and water for over a week. Remember how I was such a baby and I only lost those things for two days? Do not be cursed first weekend of December! Feel free and encouraged to be warm and happy, first December Friday! No ice! Yes friendliness!

Jeff�s off in South Carolina today getting a bucket truck with his tree crew. And even though I�ll be seeing him this evening, same as I do most evenings, it makes me feel lonesome to have him so far away. I got my Jeff map and I don�t like it when he�s not in the same state as me because my map gets too big to hold in my head. I wonder if he�s on the road coming back now or if he�s still meeting with people or having lunch or what. I hope he�s having fun, my friend. I hope to see him safe and sound and home before I go to sleep tonight. Same goes for you lot out there. Me too.