Ayiiii. I'm no good at this! I wrote to J-bird and sfitz and Blythe and said I wouldn't be joining in the reunion fun times. I didn't give any reason--I just said I couldn't come. I don't want to be all pedantic or dramatic or rejecting or stupid. Then sfitz wrote back this:

WHAAA!!! Booked through 2004 eh? Uh, I am too. I'm going to be hanging out with Brad Pitt.

Well, we are getting pretty old. Perhaps its best to take the feeding tube out of the ol' wheezy glory days, then.

Which I take to mean, he's cool with it.

J-bird writes this:

What the hell are you talking about? Is this some evil scheme to get us to visit you in NC?

Which I take to mean, he ain't so cool with it.

So I write him back and tell him I love him, but I just can't do that anymore because it's not so much fun for me.

Then Blythe writes back that she doesn't understand (and I already told her how I can't do this) and Jay writes me back again to tell me he feels terrible and sad and doesn't want me hate him and Shawn writes that I owe them all an explanation and now it's such a thing which I don't want it to be at all because I can't stand it.

What am I supposed to say? How does a person extricate herself from such things? These are people I care about a lot. I don't want to be hurtful and I don't want to try to change anybody or judge anyone but I just can't do it anymore.

Ah well.

I also feel like I'm over reacting and that I should just suck it up and go to the damned reunion because it's not like I care that much. But give in on the little things, let people run you over just a little bit, and I'm all lost.

Fuck it. It's time to go home. Retirement party is done. And look! I see many many many emails from dearest Bathsheba in my inbox! Pictures of the babe! I love the babe!