What�s an old boy to do? I don�t want to work here no more. I got one application out in the world, one almost done to be placed out in the world this very afternoon, and one more to go this week. I should be hunting up more things and places and possibilities. I�m sick to death of this place and fucking MJC who is one of the interim heads of department since Betty left us (sob sob) is awful. Awful in that insecure and pushy and accusing way. I should feel more pity toward her. Before she became my supervisor (and started being such a controlling jerkhead) I did feel more for her. When I first started working here I remember somebody or other set her off about something and she ran out of the department SOBBING and yelling about how inadequate she is. Apparently this used to happen all the time. But now that she�s the boss of me? And so terrible at actually speaking to people in a reasonable way and always kissing up to those in higher positions than her and always being patronizing and condescending to those in lower positions than her (why can�t I work on a kibbutz or something�I hate this professional/staff/lower staff/housekeeping hierarchy.) and always always criticizing? I hate her. I have never lasted longer than 6 months full-time at a job under a bad boss. I thrive under a good boss or in collaborative cultures (which is what I mean when I say good boss�someone who treats me like a trusted equal). It�s like George Bush after Bill Clinton over here. Transparency and respect and equality has been twisted into Authority and You Know Only What I Decide You Need to Know and such and such.

Job misery. Can I get any more mundane and mediocre?

Sometimes I just want to move the whole operation elsewhere. Sometimes I�m so sick of North Carolina and everything here�same possibilities, same climate, same people, same roads. I just want to head out for some new frontier. Mountains or California. Sometimes I can�t remember the path I�ve chosen and just want to jump ahead or take some short-cuts to this other place, a new place. I�m lonesome for company unfettered by history. I wish I could take a month off and just go somewhere. Hell. I wish I could take a week off.

Sigh. I�m over time on my break. Adios amigos.