Just got back into town last night. That makes 6 days sans internet. I feel all engorged right about now since I have been feasted on the internet and all that I missed for about the last 4 hours. Now I am, as usual, shuffling through the various sites I tend to shuffle my way through, hoping for something new.

We have been in Florida. My grandmother turned 80 and all of the multitudes were there for the party. Frankly, it was just ok. My family is nuts and my mother can't seem to understand that it is NOT fun (no no fun at all) for all of us to be together. So, there was that. I did attempt to stay well away from the fray. Having the two small ones watching my every move meant that I wanted nothing to do with the ridiculous drama of Oliver and everyone else he decided was against him. Whatever. Ugh.

My dad is pretty sensible about the whole thing. He is not consumed with mother guilt, of course. He told me and Jeff the unintentionally hilarious story of a Oliver and the three sneezes. Want to hear it?

So my dad got himself in the right head space to actually talk with Oliver (this requires at least as much time as actually talking with the fellow since you must completely armed for incoming verbal strikes as completely engaged in every damned boring thing he has to say since he will, in fact, quiz you on the whole mess before he is done with you). While on the phone together, Oliver sneezed. He then profusely and soliticously apologized for potentially hurting my dad's ears because his sneeze was so loud. My dad was all, whatever dude. Not a problem. Conversation continues.

It just so happens that my dad then had to sneeze. Three times in a row, as sneezes often occur. My dad excuses himself and holds the phone away from his sneezing self and then continues his end of the conversation. After a few minutes he realizes that no one is on the other end. He chalks it up to a bad connection since he is not INSANE. He tries to call Oliver back. No answer. 20 minutes later Oliver calls him back and my dad says something along the lines of, huh bad connection sorry we got cut off where were we? He is met with cold cruel silence on the other end and then...an avalance of crazy crazy Oliver curses. My dad has no idea why until he hears, through the craziness, something about the sneezing and my dad making fun of him. My dad, rightly, hangs up on him. Oliver calls back to curse more and my dad hangs up on him again. And again, for a total of three sneezes and three hang-ups. My mother is still mad about that. I am still laughing.

What I am trying to say: Oliver is fucking nuts. Joe says he has gone completely off the deep end since the news last year (was it only a year ago? Maybe it was two years ago?) that he has a different father than the rest of us.

Anyway. Glad to be home. We are, however, headed back out tomorrow. I have a conference near Wilmington. This means the college is paying for me to visit Blythe. Right?

I'm off! To do homework!