Dear god. Remember? I said, no more pets? I most definitely did not say, PLEASE LET US HAVE TWO MORE DOGS. That�s the opposite.

Also: can you please strike down dead all those horrible wretched assholes who fucking dump animals on the side of the road? If you don�t, I�m a have to do it myself. Crucify them bitches.

Here�s the deal. When you take on the responsibility of caring for an animal, that�s a responsibility FOR LIFE. Are there people who don't get this? I know all you good people know this and the bad people aren�t reading my stupid diary. I just really hate people who treat pets like a fun diversion then dump them (on the road, at the animal shelter, what�s the difference?) when they become inconvenient. I hate those people very very much.

Your life changes? That cat is still your fucking responsibility.

So yeah, we got some new additions this weekend. When I came home Friday afternoon these two excellent dogs were just at our house. I got out of the truck and the little one just leapt into my lap. She�s a sweet thing. A Yorkshire terrier. Cute. And then the other one, a gorgeous dignified spaniel of some kind, came trotting over and gave me a hug. They threw themselves at my mercy and who can say no? They are well-trained, well-behaved, clean and seemed to have been well cared for. Even their teeth have been cleaned, which is more than I can say for our dogs. But no tags, and they don�t belong to any of our neighbors and these are most definitely not roaming dogs. I don�t know what their story is, but I know whatever it is, some fucking asshole human is behind it.

I wish we could keep them, but of course we cannot. Even if Jeff weren�t deathly allergic to the one, we simply haven�t got the money or the time or the necessary attention for five dogs. Even if we were home all day every day, five dogs means some of the dogs aren�t getting the love and care they deserve. Too much, friends, too much. But oh, these dogs are great. I hate it because I already love them and they will have to go and I hate it.

When I get pictures I�ll make up another adoption page. We�re also going to take them by our vet to see if they�ve got microchips. We�re also going to put an ad in the paper. We already checked with all the no-kill shelters and they�re all full (bless those organizations�they�re always operating way above and beyond). But it makes me sad because these dogs deserve better, goddamnit.

We�ve named them Issa (the dignified fellow) and well, we�re still working on the little lady. Jeff, who is silly, keeps calling her muffin and cookie and cupcake. I would like to call her Kali, after the Hindi goddess who is, I hear, the horrific vision of the divine, with garlands of human skulls around her neck and a severed head in her hand, her bloody tongue hanging from her mouth, and the weapons in her arms dripping gore. Y�all guess why.

We�re bringing home die Dicke, Bath�s cat, this afternoon. The house ain�t big enough for all these animals and us. I�m worried about the cats with all these dogs, but there�s nothing for it. Ah stress.

And Jay and Shawn are coming tomorrow. Bah.

But yesterday was a lovely day. It was Jeff�s birthday (yay! Jeff's birthday! Jeff!) and we decided that there can be no worries nothing to do, only relaxation and goodness for the day. We went out for breakfast and we planted trees (we got him a peach tree for his birthday and then we transplanted five cherry trees into our growing orchard) and I made him supper and a birthday cake. It was nice and calm and quiet (relatively).

Dear world, take care of your animals. Please. Dear people of the world, don't buy pets. Why would you do such a bad thing? You wouldn't, I know because you always adopt from no-kill shelters (although, shhhh, two of our three come from kill shelters�I do wish to support the good guys, though) and you always get everybody spayed and neutered. I know because you're good and righteous, my pretties.

And really, god, truly and really, no more pets over here. We are operating well beyond our capacity.

Mid morning addendum! Die Dicke is NOT COMING. Wolf is officially mad. But that's all right, ma. Also! Found a yorkshire terrier rescue IN THIS VERY TOWN. Also! Bye!

EARLY AFTERNOON FREAKOUT ADDENDUM! Those boys, Jay and Shawn, just wrote me to say they are on their way. A day early! We have no heat! We are unprepared! I am at work! I am in a tizzy!

P.S. I am having a very bad time doing my regular human act. Please excuse.