We are trying to set some goals over here is what we are doing. I been washed along by the mess and detritus of life for, oh, the past 3 years I reckon. I want to stand UP for a minute and make for the shore.

So. Goals.

I actually took/am taking a series of leadership workshops this semester. Can you believe how excruciatingly stupid I can be? I honestly had decided that I wanted to try to move up into administration at work. For fuck's sake. I'm not even kidding. I hate myself, rest assured.

Anyway, I experienced this odd convergence of goal setting ideas this past week. The leadership smackity-do, along with some anarchist writing has got me all fired up about finally just saying out loud what I want and attempting to, you know, work toward that end. Is that what you all out there do? I never did. I always just let myself get buffeted along by whatever weather I found along the way.

Mainly I am getting my head out of my arse about work. I teach, ok. I can make that as interesting to me as I want it to be. Not a bad gig. I can't seem to bring myself to write down the other things because they are so NOT big things that all of this hoopla I have just created (in my own head, of course, as I have, I believe a single reader? If that? Which is good) makes me embarrassed of myself.

I am often thusly embarrassed. I am showing the movie Dead Poet's Society in some of my classes this week. I had forgotten completely about this movie. Oh I loved this movie when I was a teenager. I made my dad take me to the movies to see it twice. I was just exactly the horribly awkward shy kid that Ethan Hawke portrays. The part where he believes he can't even be in the DPS with these other guys because then he would have to read out loud. In front of 4 of his friends. Yeah. That. I am consistently mortified by myself, even when I'm all alone.

So I love that and I love that at the heart of this movie, poetry matters. In a completely sincere, non-cool way, poetry matters.

What am I trying to say? I was embarrassed and so I didn't share my goals. That's ok.

For now: work. Jeff and co. (meaning Ossie and Matilda) are on their way to pick me up. They have to do this since our truck died a noble death near about 2 weeks ago. That truck has seen me down some roads. Before I get all sentimental and stupid, I'm a scram. Maybe I'll talk about my fancy goals next time.